Monday, April 20, 2009

Breastfeeding (Still) Makes Me Smile...

I started writing this post something like 3 or 4 months ago, and then life just managed to get in the way. Ironically enough, I went through a difficult period of breastfeeding in December and January, when Emma started teething (although to this day I STILL don't believe it was her teeth that were bothering me...) and having a poor latch. Even today she still sometimes gets lazy and doesn't latch so well (whereas when she was a newborn she was a champion latcher!), and obviously this causes a lot of discomfort. I'm inclined to think that this may have led to my breast infection back in early January when I traveled to the U.S. and showed up at my parents' house with a 103° F fever... Thank goodness a doctor had prescribed me some amoxicillin before I left France, because she told me at the time she thought I had the flu... In the end, this was the one antibiotic I could take while continuing to breastfeed, and apparently it nipped the infection in the bud -- to my enormous relief! Needless to say, those first 10 days or so back on American soil were a bit difficult, for both of us, what with the addition of baby jetlag, teething, and re-adjustment. Otherwise, Emma did really well.

I re-read this post and thought back to this particular moment; I still have times like this, when Emma looks up at me with that happy, satisfied look after nursing -- they call it "repu" in French, another word I learned as a new mother! -- but for the most part she's now all business, most of the time, and in particular in the morning she's in a mighty hurry to latch onto my breast because, boy howdy, she's HUNGRY after that long night!

Early morning IS one of my favorite times with Emma, even though on the whole I still remain a non-morning person in general. But both my boy and I cannot resist listening to her gurgle and chatter in her crib until she catches sight of me awake and then INSISTS on my picking her up to feed her -- in a jiffy! I love to hear her quietly wake up from a nap during the day as well, chitter-chattering away in the bedroom and not even calling out for me to come get her -- just enjoying her quiet moment alone.

And all in all I am still in a happy nursing mode -- and I'm still thrilled to be breastfeeding Emma, one choice that I stuck to, even when the going got tough. My goal at this point is to nurse her through her 1st birthday, but if she weans herself before then, that's fine too. (Oh, and on a sidenote, it's funny to see the reaction from a LOT of French people when I say that I'm still breastfeeding -- it's mixed, of course, but more often than not they seem more than a little surprised, sometimes even shocked, particularly the pharmacists! Isn't that interesting...) Of course, it clearly has helped that I chose to stay home with Emma a bit longer before returning to work, and this has been a blessing all around -- this time with her is something that I know I need to cherish, because it flies by fast. I really hope I will keep good memories from this year with her that will last me a lifetime.

****

November 23rd, 2008

I never thought I would say this, but I am SO, SO happy that I stuck it out with the breastfeeding. And I hate to get all sappy and stuff, but I am really enjoying the quiet moments of breastfeeding that I share with Emma these days... The tough times back at the beginning were totally worth it, I can assure you -- sure, I still have a few difficulties from time to time, and I've definitely had my share of rocky points, but on the whole, the experience has become nothing but positive for me. Emma occasionally gets distracted and pulls off when she's unfocused on her latch, and sometimes when she's really hungry she can be anxious while on the breast, but for the most part she leans into me and enjoys the special time we're sharing together. I think my favorite moment is when she has already nursed on one breast, so she's feeling pretty good already and is nearly full, but decides to nurse a bit on the other breast anyway and looks up at me with a little sparkle in her eye, as if to say, "Well, I'm not really that hungry anymore, but I'm a little gourmande like you, Mommy, so I'll stay on here for a while longer..." And she smiles a bit, espiègle and as cute as a button.

I also like the early morning nursing sessions, when I wake up to her quietly gurgling away in her crib beside me, waiting for me to come out of my own deep sleep and reach into the bed to get her and bring her close to me. She'll smile again, turn her head to me and open her mouth like a baby bird, then concentrate on a very serious nursing session for about 10 minutes. I can tell how fulfilling these morning times are from how happy and satisfied she almost always seems afterwards. And it really is a good feeling!

144 comments:

screamish said...

yeah.. I know what you mean. I love that little cheeky look I get too, when they're not TOO hungry, they grin and throw their little arms toward me and latch on.

Yes, Ive earnt many a surprised look from people in France with the breastfeeding thing, all i can think is that France was hit hard by the 70s and 80s formula milk promotion...they still think breastfeeding is a new, alternative thing to do. I really had no idea it was even an issue.

kim said...

As someone who has been having nothing but issues with BFing since Liam was born two weeks ago, I appreciate this post. We have really been struggling (four days of major latching on issues, falling asleep promptly when eating only to wake up fifteen minutes later screaming of hunger, still not having attained his birth weight, etc), and his dad's feeling of helplessness is really pushing us toward making the transition to formula. Yet I really want to have these moments you've described, so I'm trying to keep my chin up and struggle through it. Thanks for the post...

cara said...

I can so echo your sentiments! Before I had a baby, I always thought that as BF is so natural, it must come naturally. What a shocker it was for me with my first to find out that it's not! It's actually hard work in the beginning and takes a lot of perseverence. But what a sense of accomplishment when you overcome those hurdles! I wouldn't change it for anything. With my second it didn't come so easily either, but it was good to have successfully done it with the first because I knew I could do it. And I, too, have been surprised at the overall French reaction to BFing. I am definitely in the minority out of all the other moms I know.

Jen said...

This is such a nice post, welcome back! In the states now, at least in New York, they realllllly encourage breastfeeding in the hospitals. I had a very hard time and had to get a lactation consultant to help me, I was crying because I felt like I wasn't a good mother because we couldn't figure it out. Eventually we did after several weeks, and three months later I am feeling like I want to do it for as long as I can. It's the most beautiful and precious thing I think I've ever experienced.

Nicole said...

The comments you get here are funny - I nursed both the boys for a little two years and the French just thought I was crazy. I was lucky enough to have a doctor who was really supportive. And weaning was so smooth, we just kind of dwindled down, when I finally stopped they were only nursing once a day anyway.

amerigirl said...

For the first kid BF was really tough. I thought I was going to have to bottle feed and the Sage-Femmes were SO unsupportive. But I stuck with it and my son weaned him self at about 10 months. Now with the second, it was tough the first 2 weeks, but now it is much better.

afoos said...

I really admire you for sticking it out with BF. I was never able to, mostly because each time I really tried (with Gab and Alice, with Louise I switched to formula as soon as we got home from the hospital), I basically went psycho. Unlike a lot of the commenters, I find that I am a minority- most everyone I know BFeeds and here in Paris, the two maternities I've been in srongly encourage BF and even a pediatrician I went to with Gab gave me a moral lesson for not BF and then a prescription to get my milk to come back in (talk about natural, geez). For some odd reason, I actually felt a much stronger bond with Gab and Alice as soon as I switched to bottle feeding. Maybe it was also because my husband wasn't very supportive of BF (he supported it as long as it didn't interrupt our daily lives and with Alice, I definitely needed E to be there to get the kids from school if I was BF or to take care of them while she was latched on for an hour etc... and he wasn't too happy about that, with a bottle, a feeding takes about 20 min 5 times a day and he can help me out, which is one of the few things he has done with Alice to help me out!) When it comes down to it all, I don't even think there should be a debate about BF or bottle. BF is hands down the best a baby can get, but formula is 'almost' just as good these days and no mom, especially new moms, should feel guilty about the way they choose to nourish their little ones- we have too much other stuff to deal with! But, congratulations on BF for so long, that's quite an accomplishment!

Elisabeth said...

Congrats to you for having kept with the breastfeeding - even though it's far from being easy at times (those infections are absolute killers!).

I breastfed my daughter until she was nearly two years old - believe it or not - and had gone back to work (to a very demanding, executive-level business job) when she was just four weeks old. I am still very grateful for the company for which I worked for allowing me the time and space I needed to use a breast pump (I had to do this only for a few months.)

In retrospect, I think that my French family thought that I was totally nuts when they realized that I was still breastfeeding my child when I visited in the summer of 1988, a bit before my daughter turned two years old.

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